My Intro - "Why Not Me?"

       Hey so recently I’ve kind of had this idea and been inspired to start writing and just putting myself out there. I’ve been wanting to put my thoughts out there for a while, but recently I've started doing it and just being real about what I’m going through in my life and what God’s been teaching me through experiences, people, and just life in general. When I realized I wanted to do this, I started doing so by putting some really long heart-felt captions on Instagram posts where I would just type out a giant paragraph about whatever I was feeling on a random Instagram post (@tjseltz if you trying to see). I loved doing this and people messaged me saying that it hit home for them or that they “f with it heavy”. The thing was, I realized that’s not really what Instagram is for and even though it can be used for that, I felt like I needed to use a different platform to spill all this out. So my attention shifted to something I thought I’d NEVER do in my life – blogging? Is that what it’s called? Can I say writing, freestyling, exploring, drafting, creating, posting, etc? However it is that you choose to refer to it – I’m doooooing it!

      

       Here’s my thing, I get inspired…. like really easily. Like when people say “it’s not that deep”, nah bro. It is that deep. I can find a chunk of positivity or meaning in any small thing. Like anything; any small insignificant event that happens that seems meaningless and like there’s nothing to it, I can find something deeper from it that can be applied to my life and that I can learn from going forward. So if all of this goes through my mind every day and God’s showing all these things to me, how selfish would it be if I just kept those to myself and never shared them for people who might want/need to hear them? Now I don’t hide things in any way, I’m generally very open. But normally these things only come out in conversations for me when people ask me specifically about something that happened, or ask for some sort of advice or help. Like people will be going through something and ask what I would do or what I have to say about it, and I’ll text them a paragraph of stuff and after typing it I’m looking at it like ….. “where the heck did that come from, that ain’t me”. THAT’S GOD, that’s what God does! When I don’t know what to say or have any idea of what they need to hear, God just lays something on my heart and before you know it I be flying on that keyboard and in the end, I find myself sending them something that was EXACTLY what they needed to hear and get them through whatever they’re facing in life. That’s why I’m doing this.

         Additionally, I want to clear something up. If you think I'm doing this to make money, build my "personal brand", or get anything out of this that includes personal gain, you got it soooo wrong. Some bloggers can make money and gain sponsorships and stuff through advertisements, especially when their page gets a lot of views. That's not me. I've never been money-driven, I'm just faith-driven. I genuinely do not want to make a single dang dime out of this blog. I'm not writing to have an opportunity for side income. See, my personal reward that comes from people seeing these blogs is not revenue or earning anything; my reward is seeing people's hearts shift. Making an impact, shining a light, leaving someone with hope, encouraging someone, pointing them in the right direction. That is why I'm doing this, for those reasons. The only personal gain I get from gaining attention to these blog posts is my heart being filled up when I hear stories and get messages about how these blogs helped people. I don't make a dollar from this, but helping someone get to a better place in their life - that's priceless. Money can't buy that. 

        But also I want you to think about something too - this whole “why me?” question that a lot of us ask when we feel called to something new or we’re placed in a new position, role or place. Why me? We often ask ourselves this question, me included, for 2 reasons. First is fear - we are afraid of the new thing. We’re afraid of failing, not being appreciated, saying the wrong thing, doing the wrong thing, etc. Fear will keep us from stepping out of ourselves and our comfort zones into the new unique things that God is trying to bring you into. Along with fear of failing, we also ask this “why me?” question because we feel unqualified. We don’t feel like we’re the person who deserves this job, this opportunity, this chance. We back away, put our hands up, and say, “nah I’m good, give it to someone else. They’ll do better.” This goes along with fear too, but either way we find ourselves shying away from new things and unique chances because we don’t feel good enough.

               

        With this I challenge you to ask a new question – “Why NOT me?” Why not me? This is how I shifted the question for myself and got over this hump in order to begin writing on here. I didn’t think I was the right person or had the right experience, inspiration, or heart to write for others to hear. But once I shifted the question and asked “Why NOT me?”, I realized that I had an opportunity that I didn’t want to shy away from out of fear. See for whatever it is in your life, I believe God is challenging you to step out of yourself in at least one area of your life, possibly more. When you ask this “Why Not Me?” question, you are basically telling yourself “I am chosen. This is for me”. This is what I want you to believe for your life! You are chosen, made special, and created with a purpose to do something or multiple things amazing! Your life isn’t insignificant or worthless, there is so much more to you than you might see. I just hope you see it and instead of asking yourself “Why Me?” when God presents something to you that could lead to a better situation and bring blessing, ask “Why Not Me?” which will allow you to RECEIVE what he has for you! You are deserving of great things and unique gifts that God wants for your life, you just have to open yourself up to them! Don’t miss out on the best things and opportunities that God has for you! 

        So with all of this, I just ask for your support. I'll be writing these every couple weeks or so whenever I can, and I'm doing them for you guys! Everytime I write one of these, I'm thinking about my friends, or even people I don't know. As I write these in the future, I'd super heavily appreciate your support - whether that be you reading them, sharing them with friends, reposting them. Whatever you do, it means the absolute freaking world to me. Getting to impact, help, and encourage people and reflect God's light while doing so is the greatest honor. I'm grateful for this opportunity and I look forward to doing the most with it.

"Instead of saying "Why Me?" I said this is what He [God] wants me to do" - Lebron James after game 7 of the 2016 NBA Finals

Who Kobe was, not what Kobe did

Today, the world lost one of the greatest. I'm not talking greatest in terms of basketball players or as an athlete. While his athletic accomplishments were tremendous and he should always be remembered as a prolific athlete, I do not want to focus on those achievements. I don't want to focus on what Kobe did, because that only speaks to his actions and abilities. Today, and every day for the rest of our lives, Kobe Bryant deserves endless respect and love for who he was, as a father, husband, inspiration, leader, coach, mentor, and so much more. This is what makes Kobe Bryant so dang special, and makes his death that much more significant and felt around the world. Kobe Bryant's life was WAY bigger than basketball. He was much more than an athlete.

Today, we appreciate Kobe Bryant for who he was in all of these areas. See, when you speak about who someone was, rather than just for what they did, you highlight that person's character and their heart more. Kobe's heart was enormous, even larger than his numerous accomplishments. People seem to forget about what people like Kobe are doing after they retire. It's so easy for people to assume that a man worth millions and millions of dollars is just riding into the sunset after retiring from an illustrious career, living in his riches selfishly and doing things to please himself. These people don't realize that what makes Kobe Bryant so special is that this is exactly what he DIDN'T do. This is exactly why millions of fans and people across the world are brought to tears over his death, even though they didn't know him personally or have a close relation with him. After retiring, Kobe Bryant took more time to love his family. His wife, and his four daughters. He lived his life to serve his family, love them, teach them, lead them, and be there for them. Even for one of his daughters, he devoted a large portion of his life to coaching her and her teammates in the game of basketball that he gave himself to. As a future husband and future parent, Kobe has very much modeled for us what it looks like to be a family man. What it looks like to love your family and put them first, and give nothing but your best for them. THAT'S how I want to live my life one day. 

For me, Kobe has also embodied the concept of work ethic. I'm talking like whenever the phrases "work ethic, hard work, dedication, giving it your all" are heard, Kobe Bryant is the absolute first person in the world that comes to my mind. Not even my childhood idol, Lebron James, comes before Kobe in my mind when I hear these words. Kobe Bryant showed us what it looks like to work hard, avoid laziness (heck he taught us to HATE laziness), and give your whole heart to something you care about. Kobe taught me that when you truly love something/someone, you will 100% make time for it. Have you ever read the stories of Kobe's daily workout routines (even after he retired!!), how he'd wake up at 4 am and workout super early in the morning? How he would spend his whole day getting in shape, working on his craft, stretching, making himself the best version of himself? That's how you do it. This has inspired me to work my best and give my all in EVERYTHING I do, whether that be school, work, relationships, friendships, or literally any area of my life that I'm striving to see improvement in. Kobe is simply the best hard-worker in my opinion, ever. He has modeled what it's like to earn everything you want, to go get it, and to be relentless and refuse to give up on your hopes and dreams. Because of Kobe Bryant, millions of people now chase their dreams and have stronger faith in what they can become. To leave behind that kind of legacy on this world, that's everything. Kobe has inspired many people in my generation to live for something more, and to be reminded that this life is bigger than ourselves. Your life isn't just about you, there's other people who need a touch of hope and who need help. 

I want to end this simply by saying - Thank You Kobe. Thank you for using your physical gifts and unreal talents to inspire many young athletes to be greater. Thank you for gifting every person in the world the concept of Mamba Mentality, the full-throttle work ethic to go hard and give your absolute best effort and heart into every thing you do. Every. Single. Thing. Thank you for modeling what it looks like to prioritize your family even in the life of a celebrity when Hollywood and today's culture throws every distraction your way to keep you away from the things that matter most. You could've easily focused on the glitz and glamour, money, parties, the celebrity lifestyle and all that nonsense that the enemy tries to distract us with. See in this life, we are faced with these distractions that can take us away from the valuable, meaningful, amazing things of life. But you were too good to be distracted by nonsense. You focused on family, on others, on charity, on coaching teenagers, and so much more. You regularly gave speeches and did interviews for the purpose of sharing your wisdom and heart with us - since you could never meet with all of us face to face, you would still share your life lessons with us over video. Thank you for inspiring hope, drive, and courage into millions of us and challenging us to be greater in everything we do. It never truly hit me how much you've done for others until today; I wish I realized all this earlier. Next time I ever do anything and I feel like quitting, taking an easy way out, or settling, I'll remember you. You push us to be our best and not to be great for our own glory and recognition, but to use our lives to serve and life up others. Thank you, Kobe Bryant. We love you forever. 

How To Do Finals Week

        I'm not going to downplay the significance of finals and act like they aren't hard because I'd be lying to you if I did that. But here's the thing - there's a way to do finals week without having a breakdown and losing yourself. I know sometimes we laugh it off and act like it's nothing, but really, none of us enjoy going crazy and losing our minds during finals week. This week is my 7th college finals week (wow I'm old). Yeah I'm the rookie and the vet. With this, I've found ways to manage myself during finals week and things that help me get stuff done and succeed during finals week without blowing my whole life up. And this is coming from someone who still struggles with procrastination, time management, and focusing on one task for an extended period of time. It's not easy going through finals week, but it's possible and I'm going to show you how.

1. See the bigger picture. Once again I'm not trying to minimize the importance  of finals, I just want you to know that this week of exams and projects does not make up your whole life. Your success/failures during this week and this semester don't take away anything from how smart, skilled, and special you are and it doesn't take away the fact you have a great future. Realize that even if you DO fail or perform poorly, that it isn't the end of everything. You will have opportunities to make up for it, bounce back, or maybe even change course to something that fits you better. Overall, don't make finals week more than it is. I volunteer with a high school basketball team and something the head coach would always say during "big games" such as playoffs (finals are really the playoff games of the semester), is that don't make the game bigger than it is. Sure it carries more importance than other games, but you have to play it like a normal game. When you make the game (or in this case your finals) bigger than it is, you overthink a lot of things and cause room for error. He'd say to prepare for it and play it like you would a normal game, to not get too ahead of yourself because the stakes are higher. Don't put too much pressure on yourself!

2. Make times for other things, for the sake of your health. You have to make a good amount of time to study and do your school work, that is true. You also have to make time for things that'll get you out of your room/library, this is also true. This can be literally ANYTHING. It can be going out to eat, going to the gym, taking naps, jamming in the car, driving, praying, hanging out with friends, videogames... do ANYTHING except studying for as long as it doesn't involve anything that'll drain you more. Do the things that destress you in healthy, easy, not expensive ways (Lord knows we broke). You have to prioritize these breaks and other things in the midst of schoolwork, or you'll literally lose your mind.

3. GRIND. Yes, these breaks are important to find rest for yourself. However in between these breaks and hobbies, you're going to have to work. You won't get away from doing the hard work during finals unless you're extremely lucky. This is where work ethic has to come into play; you can't be lazy. You have to be willing to put in the work to get those great grades you're seeking, and you're more than able to do it. I believe in you. I struggle with this sometimes because it comes down to applying yourself and focus. My attention gets drawn to 100 things all the time. Find a space where you can focus, get your music on if you're anything like me, and lock in. You're capable and more than good enough to accomplish whatever task is in front of you.

4. Find your place. Like how I mentioned trying to avoid distractions and being able to focus, sometimes the best way to do this is to find a different place to get your work done. Sometimes, studying and doing work at the same desk in your room, every day, with your TV and the comfort of your own bed distracting you (not to mention roommates and your friends) can be very difficult to do. What I suggest is finding a new physical setting where you can focus, settle in, and find a little bit of peace. This could be a sweet spot in the library, Panera, a beach, a unique coffee place that no one knows about, heck go to the airport (that's my go-to). Find a place where you feel refreshed, at peace, that's visually appealing, where you can do what you have to do without being in a stressful, distracting environment. Find that place and make it your own.

5. Know that you're not alone. If you're like me, I'm sure you like to take it upon yourself sometimes to go hard at it by yourself, figure it out yourself, and get it done yourself. Sometimes this is totally good, especially if you know what you're doing and it's easy to get work done when you're not being distracted by others. However, when I've seen my friends struggle the most with finals is when they get overwhelmed, stressed, and feel like they don't know what they're doing, and they feel alone! They feel like no one is there to help them understand it and figure it out. They feel like no one is there to support them, encourage them, believe in them, or comfort them. But look, you don't have to feel that way! You have friends and people who care about you, even if you don't realize it. Don't isolate yourself when things get hard, reach out to those closest to you! That's what friends are supposed to be for! And if you're struggling to find the right people to surround yourself with, well that could be a good thing, because at least it means you're seeking to surround yourself with real friends who genuinely care about you. And if you can't find a lot of those people, you have one in me. If you ever need help with anything, or just need support/encouragement, know I'm here for you! I know what it's like to feel alone and feel like you don't have friends to help you, and I'm making it a point to help others so they don't have to feel that way. Also, I don't know how you feel about God and your faith so I'm not really going to force this right now because it's for a whole other conversation. But I encourage you to pray because if there's ever a time that I'm not there or your friends aren't, you can be sure God is there for you because he cares for you and loves you like crazy. If you believe that, then pray to God whenever you feel alone or anxious because he will take care of you. He wants to take that weight off of you!

6. Believe! You won't succeed this week if you don't believe you can. Even if you're lightheartedly saying it in a jokingly way, if you keep telling yourself "I'm gonna fail" or "I'm screwed" or "I'm not smart", you're probably not going to do well. The first thing you NEED to do is talk yourself out of the mindset that you're not good enough or smart enough. I need you to know that you're smarter than you think you are and that you're doing better than you give yourself credit for. If you're anything like me, you're probably your own biggest critic and you never feel like you're succeeding. Get out of thinking that and be grateful for what you've accomplished, and believing the best for what's ahead. I believe in you, I really do, but I also need you to believe in yourself and that you're capable of getting through these finals and doing your best. 

And while I wanted to save the faith talk for a whole other blog, I want to include part of it here - if you don't have enough belief to believe in yourself, I encourage you have faith in God. Because for me, that's where I find a lot of what I'm lacking. See, when you feel low, discouraged, hopeless, like you don't have any purpose, God is there to pick you up and remind you that you were created with a purpose, and that you're worth more than you can ever imagine. He can lift you up in a heartbeat when you're feeling low, all you need to do is rely on Him and trust Him. Following God isn't all about just following rules and acting perfect, that's not it. Following God gives you somebody in your life to be there when you don't have it all together yourself. So for this finals week and really all the challenging times you face in your life, I hope that you find it in yourself to believe in yourself and if you still need more encouragement and hope, give God a chance and see what he can make out of it all. God's taken situations in my life where I didn't see the best of things, and turned those areas into things in my life that are great and amazing. He can do it for you too. I love you guys, and PLEASE if I can help or be there for you in any way these coming weeks or anytime in general, let me know.